Why there is no time machine...

We all know that in academia, being a guy who invented something is meaningless unless you're the FIRST guy who invented something. So suppose you spend 5 years researching some fascinating new discovery or invention, only to find out that it had been done before by some obscure scientist somewhere else in the world.

Typically, the first solution to come to mind is to build a time machine, go back in time and somehow prevent the OTHER scientist from completing their work. Makes perfect sense...

But what happens when your prized invention IS the time machine? And you are indeed the first person to invent it? Then as soon as someone else comes along and invents their time machine, the first thing they'll do is go back in time killing you in order for THEM to be the first person to invent the time machine...

This starts a chain as such:

1. X invents a time machine. Glad to be first.

2. Y invents a time machine, goes back in time, kills X BEFORE inventing the time machine. Becomes first.

3. Z invents a time machine, goes back in time, kills Y BEFORE inventing the time machine. Becomes first...

...

ad infinitum.

So, since everyone who invents a time machine ultimately dies BEFORE inventing the time machine, no one will ever have invented a time machine... And hence no time machine.

The logic is unassailable!

What would you do with $6000?

Buy new screens for everyone at CRAFT?

Hire 2 interns for 2 months and gain 4 man-months worth of work...

Make a super awesome apero?

What else?

Another Friday...

... another way to waste time.

A Month without Singing

It's been a month since Fabrice has left. Here is a report on what CRAFT has been like since the departure of the co-founder of CRAFT Bullshit Collector:
1. Red Bull drinking habits are spiraling out of control. The ratio of Red Bull drinkers on Friday afternoon is dropping. Red Bull is being consumed outside of official Red Bull hours on almost a daily basis, even by fellow cofounders of the Red Bull moment (I myself drank 2 Red Bulls yesterday).
2. The musical atmosphere in CRAFT is now limited to the occasional cough or snore. The CRAFT guitars seem to have lost the will to live and spend almost all of their time just lying on the couch not making music.
3. Morale has dropped because none of the remaining members of CRAFT has the habit of screaming out in joy whenever a bug is resolved. The resulting silence induced a foreboding sense of hopelessness and futility that is engulfing the open space.
4. CRAFT has become a bit more work and a bit less play...


On the up side,
1. With fewer distractions, productivity in CRAFT has increased.
2. Procrastination inducing YouTube link exchange has dropped 95%.
3. Reduced resistance to Corbusier meant that the rest of CRAFT can enjoy a non-Atlantide pizza every once in a while.
4. Fabrice's desk is now being used as a storage space for unwanted office supplies, a platform for Hamed and Marc-Antoine's fan, as well a mosquito trap with the help of Khaled's orange lamp.
5. Unreasonably time-consuming Manyscripts expirments have dropped 100%.

So that's it. Happy 1 month unemployment anniversary Mr. Brain!

He's not even doing a PhD!

The Procrastinating Kettle

Ever notice how in order to boil water in an electric kettle, it takes exactly the amount of time that is too boring to spend standing there waiting for the water to boil but that is not long enough to merit going away to do something? The problem lies in the fact that the time it takes to boil water is just wrong. It's both too short and too long!

So what's the solution?

Aside from building kettles with nuclear reactors in the base that heat water with nuclear energy, there aren't many solutions to making water boil quicker. Normal people would give up there... But the great minds of CRAFT came up with a better solution. A kettle that boils water more slowly! Imagine how easy life would be if you had to wait 30 minutes for a water to boil. Then everytime you want tea, you turn on the kettle, read a paper, and come back... Instant productivity boost! Or better yet, if it took water 60 minutes to boil, then you can switch on the kettle, go do your shopping, and come back just in time for nice hot cup of tea!

So we introduce to you the Procrastinating Kettle... The kettle that can boil water as slowly as you need it to!

Drinking affect your behaviour

Red bull, red clothes